


"How to Handle Time": Carmen Sandiego and the Exploits of Planet Express

by lefemmerouge



Category: Futurama, Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? (Cartoon 1994)
Genre: Alternate History, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M, Futurama References, Gen, Other, Time Travel, acme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 15:58:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19360144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lefemmerouge/pseuds/lefemmerouge
Summary: A crossover between Futurama and the Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego series. Its a time travel adventure between characters from both shows, an exciting story bringing together the stories of those from two of my favorite shows!





	1. Yancy and the Kidnapping

_September 21st, 1999 (present-day) - Carmen Sandiego's headquarters._  
  
Carmen exclaims with a grin, "Those ACME detectives have fooled me for the last time! With this caper, I'll show them who really knows how to...handle time."  
  
The red-painted time machine, shaped almost like a hexagonal prism but with a few more sides, powers up, with its coordinates set for January 31, 3008. It twirls away and disappears.  
  
The final battle between the people of Earth and the Nudist Scammers is coming to an end. Bender is about to release the doomsday device, Spheroboom, which would blow-up the ship of Nudar, Fleb, and Schlump.  
  
It is at that point that Carmen enters the picture, snatching the device. She blows up the ship of Nudar, Fleb, and Slump, but gets off with the device, disappearing without anyone noticing. To the crew of the Planet Express, everything seems normal, as they seem to have won the battle. But, in fact, time has changed.  
  
 _Present day - ACME headquarters._  
  
The Chief announces to them, "Hey, gumshoes! We have reports of activity by Carmen's henchmen in Los Alamos National Laboratory, stealing uranium of some kind. Zack and Ivy, we'd like to have you check it out. You might get an opportunity to nab Carmen once and for all."  
  
Ivy responds, "Player, C5 us to the Los Alamos National Laboratory. We'll stop Carmen cold in her tracks!"  
  
The Chief announces, as their travel commences, "You're going from a sunny, warm San Francisco to one of the premier laboratories in the United States, which is part of the Department of Energy. Next stop, Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico.   
  
Ivy and Zack are transported to Los Alamos National Laboratory with a pixelated blue circle disappearing into thin air, and reappearing in Los Alamos.  
  
Zack says to his sister, "Man, it looks like the uranium is being loaded into trucks for transport! What's Carmen up to?"  
  
They look up and see Carmen Sandiego, standing on a rooftop, her red coat and fedora blowing in the wind. She looks toward them, and says: "Hello again, detectives. I've been expecting you, glad you could join us!"  
  
Zack yells back, "You won't get away this time Carmen!"  
  
He aims at Carmen, firing a net from his gun, hoping to catch her like he had in the past. But, as luck would have it, the net misses and only nabs an unfortunate henchmen instead. Carmen jumps down and sprays a fire extinguisher at the faces of Zack and Ivy, telling them, "Time is not really on your side." She gets away, jumping into her time machine, which disappears into thin air.

After brushing the fire retardant off his face, Zack says to his sister, "Sis, we almost had her! She always gets away!"  
  
"Well, little bro, at least we got a bunch of henchmen and foiled her plans."

With a sigh of despair, she adds, "But, we still don't know Carmen's plan."  
  
 _September 13, 1787 - Philadelphia, U.S._  
  
Some of the most important men are signing the U.S. Constitution, what will later be called the Constitutional Convention, only four days before the Constitution would be finalized. Carmen appears outside Constitution Hall, and opens the doors, barging in, with the Spheroboom in hand.  
  
George Washington, surprised by her presence, explains, "Lady, what are you doing here? This is a closed meeting! We are discussing matters of the greatest importance, to found a new nation. No one is allowed in!"   
  
Carmen responds, "Oh boys, you realize so little about the world around you. Time for sweet dreams upon the fiery embers of hell." Putting a gas max on, she sprays out a sleeping gas, causing all of the participants to fall down into a temporary slumber. With that, she steals the unfinished U.S. Constitution and the unfinished diaries of James Madison.  
  
"Ciao!" she says while activating the Spheroboom, then escaping to her time machine, to go to the present. An explosion rocks Constitution Hall, with all of George Washington, James Madison, and everyone else in that room, at the time, horribly maimed. The course of U.S. history is forever altered.   
  
Back in the present, Zack and Ivy notice the changes. There is now a monument to those injured at the Constitutional Convention, with September 13th called "Philadelphia Day," accompanying Constitution Day, celebrated four days later. Puzzled, Ivy asks, "What's Philadelphia Day, Chief?'  
  
"Well, Carmen Sandiego seems to have gone in the past and mucked around again, stealing the U.S. Constitution, Madison's Diaries, and scuttling the Constitutional Convention on Constitution Hall. Its like it never happened. You need to stop her, before she does more damage to history!"  
  
With that, Zack and Ivy are given a new ACME Chronoskimmer.  
  
Zack, bummed out from what has happened, says "Man, we can't let Carmen be a killer of the mood! September 13, 1787,  here we come!"  
  
Ivy and Zack are quickly transported to the past. They see Constitution Hall on fire. They rush in to save who they can, asking those they save to tell them about what happened.  
  
An injured James Madison tells them: "It was a lady in red! She stole my diary and the constitution-to-be, after setting this place on fire, with that mysterious explosion, injuring us all!"  
  
After hearing this, Zack sees an ordinary man walking upon the streets, and points to Yancy Fry, telling his sister, "Sis, lets ask this man over here, what he saw, since James Madison could be pulling our chain."  
  
Yancy responds to their questions about what happened, telling them, "Well sir and madam, this was a monster of a fire. I saw a lady in a red coat and hat break into there building (points to Constitution Hall on fire), then vanish away in some sort of machine."  
  
Zack and Ivy thank him for the information. Ivy then uses the Chromoskimmer, typing in the date of September 13, 1999. She then says, "Player, C5 us to ACME headquarters, in the present!"  
  
Without consciously knowing it, Zack and Ivy slightly tinkered with the past: Yancy, after talking with them, had his foot run over by a stagecoach, tripping, and falling into a doorway of Constitution Hall, and killed by a falling board. While Zack and Ivy didn't see it, this was an event that would change history in ways they would not imagine. The Fry family would cease to exist.  
  
 _May 1st, 3013 - New New York, Widows Walk, Planet Express building_

Fry and Leela are enjoying each other's company, watching a sunset, when he begins to fade away.  
  
Fry tells her, in a worried tone, that "Leela, I don't know what's happening! I can't survive while disappearing, as far as I know."

Leela takes this hard, yelling "Help! My boyfriend is disappearing! Oh no!"  
  
Zoidberg, Amy, Bender, and Prof. Farnsworth quickly run out to the widows walk. They all watch in horror as nothing they can do to prevent Fry from disappearing in front of their eyes, vanishing from existence, forever.   
  
Fry then says, with deep sorrow, "Goodbye, waking world!" and he fades away into nothingness. Leela bawls her eyes out.  
  
Leela: "Why did it have to be me? Why couldn't it have been someone else! We were just about to marry, as he had just proposed to me. But, the wedding is now off.

As her crying continues, with this emotional bomb dropped on her, Prof. Farnsworth muses that this event "is very strange. Nothing like this has happened before. But someone has done this and altered the fabric of time. We must stop them. To the Farnsworth-otron!"  
  
Amy then asks what the machine does and what it is. Prof. Farnsworth responds, saying "It's a time machine that detects any warps in the spacetime, recognizes the new time signature, and sends you there. It looks like that on Sept 13, 1787, someone altered the timeline and something happened that wasn't supposed to happen."

He quickly does an internet search for that day, September 13, 1787, telling everyone that:  
  
"Apparently, on that day, Constitution Hall, where a select group of men were writing the U.S. Constitution, was light on fire in a mysterious explosion by a woman in a red fedora. But that isn't the time disruption that caused Fry to disappear. That happened 5 minutes later, in what some called a freak accident: Yancy Fry was killed by a board falling from Constitution Hall. According to my records, he was the oldest ancestor of Fry, and with his death, the whole Fry family ceased to exist, not just Fry himself! It is a twisted example of the grandfather paradox showing its true face!"  
  
"So, what can we do Professor?"

"Well, we could go back 5 minutes before this catastrophe and catch the perpetrators that did it. To 1787 we go!"  
  
Prof. Farnsworth, Bender, and Leela jump into the Farnsworth-otron and arrive just as Carmen Sandiego has left the scene, who they are not aware of as of yet, even though the Professor did briefly mention him, something which they all have forgotten.  
  
Soon, Zack and Ivy arrive. Bender, Leela, and Prof. Farnsworth hide along the side of burning Constitution Hall, watching Zack and Ivy intently. Right after they both asked their questions to James Madison, Prof. Farnsworth tells them both, "This is the moment that the time disruption happened, and those two people (pointing to Zack and Ivy) are part of it."  
  
Just as Zack and Ivy are about to ask Yancy Fry questions, they are nabbed by Bender, who catches them both with his bending arms, telling them, "You are bending for a bender. Stop trying to kill my friend!" Ironically, he puts them in handcuffs even though he is a convicted felon who has been arrested many times before.  
  
Zack exclaims in terror, "Man, we were just trying to catch Carmen Sandiego!" He adds with derision, "She's getting away, thanks to you!"   
  
Leela angrily responds back, telling Zack and Ivy: "I don't know who Carmen Sandiego is, but you two made my boyfriend disappear from existence! You have some explaining to do for your mucking about in the past! You are coming with us!"  
  
Leela, Prof. Farnsworth, and Bender bring along Zack and Ivy in handcuffs to the year 3013. Ivy then whispers to Zack what she often says when they get in situations like this: "I have a bad feeling about this, little bro."  
  
To be continued...


	2. Time Keeps Slipping: Carmen's Devious Plan Manifests Itself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing from the previous chapter, this chapter continues the story of ACME agents, Carmen Sandiego, and some of the crew of the Planet Express ship

The Chief says in a voiceover: "Where we last left off, Zack and Ivy traveled to 1787 to stop Carmen Sandiego from setting Constitution Hall on fire. But, they got there too late, with her evil deed done. In an accidental act, they killed a man named Yancy Fry, leading to a spacetime disruption and an alternate timeline. Both Zack and Ivy were kidnapped by a group of people from the future."

_Planet Express building, New New York, May 1, 3013._

Leela, talking to Zack and Ivy, demands of them, "Now, what were you two doing in 1787?"

Zack responds in stride, "Man, we are from the ACME Detective Agency, in the year 1999. We were trying to stop Carmen Sandiego, the master thief. We almost stopped her in another one of her devious acts before you all intervened!"

In a retort, Bender adds, 'you keep mentioning that name, but it just sounds like a story to cover up your murder. So, I'll..."

Prof. Farnsworth cuts off Bender, asking them: "Wait, did you time travel to 1787?"

Ivy, responds with a smile on her face, telling the professor: "Yes, we did!" Pointing to a device on the ground, she tells him they used the Chronoskimmer and adds, "We are telling you the truth! We didn't mean to kill Yancy, it was an accident!"

Bender and Leela walk away, with Fry, who now exists due to the fact that Yancy was not killed by the falling board from Constitution Hall, enters the room. With a degree of skepticism, he adds ,"I don't trust either of you and don't know why you mucked around in the past, causing me to disappear from existence. Its nothing ever good! I mean I became my own grandfather and the Prof. here not only killed Eleanor Roosevelt by mistake but he killed his own "bad" ancestor, David Farnsworth. Luckily you can't do anymore damage in those handcuffs." He then walks away and outside the room.

Prof. Farnsworth, studying the chronoskimmer, says, "I know most of my crew around here are angry at you, but I trust your story of time travel, and don't think you meant to kill Yancy, just a honest mistake. Now, tell me about this Carmen Sandiego because I cannot remember that name for the life of me."

"Well, Professor," Zack says with stride, "we can arrange that for you. Player, infoscan Carmen Sandiego and her misdeeds. Bring up everything you can. We can't let anyone else be a killer of the mood!"

Addressing the Professor, the Chief says, "Nice to meet you. So, in our time, 1999, Carmen Sandiego is a master thief. She has traveled several times before, always disrupting the space-time continuum. We stopped her before, but on one of her more recent heists, she stole elephants from Hannibal, and tried to steal the Roman Colosseum, using her time machine which powered a set of rockets. Another time, she mucked about in U.S. history, stealing horseshoes off Paul Revere's horse, moving the boats filed with tea from the Boston Harbor, which were supposed to be hacked open in the Boston Tea Party, to Japan, and stole the key from Ben Franklin's lightning experiment, ending all digital technology as we know it. That is only a small sampling, but it's clear that she is up to no good! So, Professor, will you help us track her down?"

Prof. Farnsworth responds with a smile, saying "Why certainly. My new time machine detects any time disruptions. There was one I just found, in September 3008. Now, let's get in the time machine..."

Just as he says this, there is a flash of light: Carmen Sandiego appears before them. She tells them, "You won't be able to stop me. I'm into a little acquisition today. Time is the one thing that is in my side, detectives and...friends."

Prof. Farnsworth, Zack, and Ivy all look in disbelief as she disappears with the Planet Express ship and her henchman tie up all of them, while also finding Fry and Leela, who just happen to walk into the room at that moment. They are all transported, tied up and knocked out, through time, to the year 1999, the present. When they wake up, they are at the secret V.I.L.E. training facility in Mammoth Cave, Kentucky.

With the henchmen moving away, their task completed, Zack turns to Leela and Fry, saying:

"I know you don't like us or even trust us, but we have to work together if you want everything to go back to normal. I don't like anything that ruins the mood, man."

There's static. A TV blares: "this just in, the  missing founding documents of the UN, NATO, and other organizations have been returned." The announcer continues, adding: "we have one citizen to thank for this deed: Carmen Sandiego, a woman with a mission who heads a new foundation called the Sandiego Giving Fund. She is a real model citizen and a hero in our trying times!"

Reeling from the news, Ivy exclaims, "That isn't right! She's a thief who just wants to steal for the thrill of it. Chief, what news do we have on Carmen?"

"Well, we have reports of her henchmen near the U.N. building in New York City. There is also a ceremony tomorrow at the U.N. where they are giving her a medal for her achievements, and all the documents she returned are on display."

Responding to The Chief's remarks, Leela says, with an air of skepticism, "While I still don't trust either of you completely, I want to stop this crimson shadow as much as you and stop any future time disruptions."

Zack adds, "Player, C5 us to the UN building in New York City!"

All of them (Fry, Leela, Prof. Farnsworth, Ivy, and Zack) soon arrive in New York City, just as the ceremony is about to start.

They can hear the announcer say, almost like its an award show, "And the award for the best preserver of cultural heritage in 1999 goes to an outstanding citizen, Carmen Sandiego. While she was once a world-famous thief, now she has shown to have gone on the side of good."

The doors of the U.N. General Assembly burst open, with Ivy at the front, declaring to the guards, "stop her, she's a thief!"

Carmen, displeased by the interruption, turns to them saying "Hello, detectives and friends. Your timing is always impeccable. But you aren't going stop me because...time...will keep slipping for you. You won't be able to shine a light on this one, with the tube guiding the way."

Suddenly, a blast hits the UN building, causing the place to shake. Carmen slips out the window, with the award in hand, with her grappling hook hitting her ship, a flying car of sorts, clearly repurposed with parts from the Planet Express ship. All of the documents that were on display are sucked up into the ship, using a lighted tube. As she is about to speed away, Leela uses her Wristlojackimator to fire a tracking device onto Carmen's ship, that not only tracks its GPS location but through time.

With Carmen disappearing with a flash of light, soon there is another spacetime disruption, even worse than the first one. All the screens disappear, like an apparition, including the Chief, and the screen on Leela's Wristlojackimator. 

Prof. Farnsworth exclaims, "It's the television! All the TV screens are gone! The original television, created by my ancestor, Philo Farnsworth, must have been stolen by Carmen Sandiego. We have to stop her."

Ivy, thinking about it a little more, has an a-ha moment, telling the Professor, "That must be what her clue meant when she was leaving the U.N building, escaping out clutches!"

Leela responds, with her Wristlojackimator, which has become an earpiece, saying: "I tracked her to San Francisco California, by the Golden Gate bridge.'

Taking that to heart, Zack says, "Player, C5 us to San Francisco!'

The whole group arrives in San Francisco, at the spot where Carmen used to live as an orphan. However, this is not a trip down memory lane, but rather it is a building titled "The Carmen Sandiego Hall of Wonders."

Ivy, realizing what has happened, tells them all, "I know why Carmen stole all those artifacts. She wanted to have her own museum, with herself as the curator!"

The whole crew walks into this tiny museum and finds an early television, the original copies of US Constitution, UN Charter, James Madison's diaries about the Constitutional Convention, NATO founding document, and much more, on display. The front doors of the museum close behind them and Carmen welcomes them, showing them around. 

Zack, shining a flashlight in her face, tells her: "Your time is up Carmen, and it's time to shine a light on your misdeeds!"

Prof. Farnsworth, adds in suit that "Stop messing with my ancestors! Get her!"

After being temporarily blinded, Carmen says with a smile, "As much as I'd like to stay and join in the fun, your time is up. Sayonara!"

Ivy, with a degree of familiarity, says, "She's getting away again!"

Leela, now fully on the side of the ACME agents, having forgotten her previous dislike of them, shouts, "Oh no you don't, le femme rouge! You won't escape on my watch!" She then fires her gun at Carmen's grappling hook attached to her ship, which snaps, but Carmen still gets away on her hang glider fitted with rockets. She gets away once again.

Zack, says with a dismal sigh, "Well, at least we got everything back she stole. Now we just have to fix the timeline and prevent this entire crime from happening in the first place!"

Fry, says with newfound confidence, "Me and Bender will go back to 1787 and return the stolen documents from Constitution Hall, since my ancestor lived in that time after all."

Leela then adds, "And I'll go back with Prof. Farnsworth to make sure she doesn't steal that TV."

Following that, Ivy says, "Well, me and Zack can stop her from stealing from the UN building. We will all meet at ACME headquarters tomorrow morning."

The next day beckons and they all meet back together. Everything has been returned to its rightful historical place.

Ivy, thinking back to the beginning of their mission, asks, "There's one thing I don't get? Why were her guards stealing uranium from Los Alamos, and what did she steal from the past other than those documents from the Constitutional Convention?"

Responding to Ivy, the Chief adds, "Well, gumshoes, while she didn't steal anything other than those few documents from the past, she clearly used an explosive of some kind, one that I've never seen! The stealing of the uranium from Los Alamos, which you both foiled, was just a distraction she pulled to get is going in the wrong direction."

Prof. Farnsworth has a realization: "That's it, it must have been the Spheroboom! If that device is the hands of anyone other than a mad scientist like me," he says as he cackles devilishly, "who knows what they would do with it!"

Thinking back, Leela adds, "I remember how, when we fought those scammer aliens, we fired it from the Planet Express ship, thanks to Bender's switcharoo, and destroyed them. That must be where she stole it from. We'll get it back and stop her. You can count on us.'

Saying with a tinge of sorrow at their departure but glee that the mission is done, the Chief adds, "Well, Zack and Ivy can accompany you to 3011, and everything can go back to normal."

Thinking it over, Fry responds in jest: "Thanks for the offer Chief, but I feel comfortable going on our own, we don't need you both to accompany us. We trust you now and hope you trust us now."

In response, the Chief hands Fry the device, adding, "here is a Chronoskimmer which only goes forward in time, to May 1, 3011, so you can all return to your time. Let us know if you ever see Carmen Sandiego in your time, just let us know using this cross-dimensional communication device. There will be no grandfather paradoxes with this device!"

The Planet Express crew quickly says their goodbyes, and speeds away to the future, to the year 3011.

As soon as they leave, Zack, thinking he has the knack and is in a killer mood, says sheepishly, "Sis, it didn't turn out all bad, as you had said. You know, if Leela had lived in the present, and didn't have a boyfriend, perhaps I would have asked her out"

Laughing with indignation, Ivy tells him, "Oh, little bro, you have so much to learn about women, but I still love you anyway." She then gives Zack a noogie on the head, lovingly. 

As they both fade away, Player types "Carmen, you were foiled once again and don't know how to handle time. Next time I'll nab you, Carmen.

Carmen types back. "Player, it's about the thrill of the game, a challenge to steal what others can't. And unlike you, I have all the time in the world."

_THE END._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also note this is set after the Futurama episode, Meanwhile, the last episode of the animated sitcom that aired. It also takes some inspiration from the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego episode when she travels to the future to steal an item but is first hailed as a hero. The flying car of sorts is used in the second season of 'Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?' (A Date with Carmen Part 1, A Date with Carmen Part 2).

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the dialogue, for Ivy, Zack, the Chief, and Carmen are inspired by lines from the last three episodes of the 'Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego' series, titled Cupid Sandiego, Can You Ever Go Home Again? (Part I), and Can You Ever Go Home Again? (Part II). Part of the plot is also inspired by the episode 'Timing is Everything' where Carmen is hailed as a hero by people in the future, which I thought was a worthwhile topic. For the characters from the 'Futurama' universe, I've taken inspiration from the dialogue from the last few Futurama episodes (Murder on the Planet Express, Stench and Stenchibility, and Meanwhile), using the transcripts on Infosphere, so that the characters sound like they would have in the show itself. The "Goodbye, Waking World" line is actually one uttered by Leela in The Sting, but knowing the show very well, it came to my mind when writing this story. I took some liberty with dates in the 'Futurama' universe, as the date of the battle with the Nudist scammers is not known, and neither are other dates. I did the same for dates in the 'Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego' universe as well, as no exact dates of the last season of the show are ever firmly established. For other facts, I took information from the Mission page of the Los Alamos National Laboratory. I hope I didn't make Carmen too evil. The time machine Carmen uses in this story was last featured in the 'Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego' series in the episode "Timing is Everything," just so people know what I am referring to in this story.


End file.
